The below quotes may or may not have come from the old man, but they make some hilariously interesting reading.
1. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there’s nothing as such any-longer because it’ll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!”
2. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
3. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re private”
4. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real.
5. If you are a married man, and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.”
6. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.
7. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.
8. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors.
9. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown’s sense of human rights precludes our people’s right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.
10. Cigarette Is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.
11. Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time.* *They will say My Love meet My Sweet heart.* *And the two idiots will shake hands and smile*
12. When you are ugly …your private parts are what suffers .
13 Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has more than 3 tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.
14. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bedAdd to favorites/Archive